7th
Posted by 7th on September 09, 2004

Real Name: Mike
Aliases: The 7th Level, 7th, Lord 7th, Siete, Six Plus One, Talky Toaster, Crashwave, Vay, Revelator, Brandon Porter, WDMike, Mean Old Bastard, Richard Welby, Whitewash
Titles Held: Scoopthis.com's Most Wanted, Webmaster of TheWorld Parody Federation and The7thLevl.com, Staff Writer Whatever-dude.com, Webmaster The7thLevel.com
Catchphrase(s): How 'Bout Dat!
Other Accomplishments: Author of Neverwood, The Dark Clan, and The Mind Wanders: 20 Screwed Up Tales; Former Lead guitarist/Vocalist for Gen33; was once mistaken for Tom Selleck's son; was recently accused by Daygan Vy of being a Ben Affleck look-a-like...

If you took everything you knew about pop-culture internet writers, turned it upside down, gave it a southern accent, then made it really, really annoying, you might come up with something like 7th. There is no middle ground with this guy, you either love him or hate him. And considering the fact that, after Whatever-dude's demise, he had to start his own site just to keep his ugly mug on the web, it can be safely assumed that the mass majority fit into the latter category.

He has at times been accused both of being a trumped up, egotistical southern hick, and one of the best e/n writers on the web, so therein lies your love/hate range. The quality of his work is consistent, making you either spray soda out your nose and onto your supervisor while you were supposed to be taking dictation, or making you so angry you burst a blood vessel and spend the rest of your natural life knitting afghans next to a fat, smelly bald man who thinks he's the King of the Dust Muffin People.

Movies

1) The Horror... The Horror!
2) When Bad Action Heroes Get Worse
3) The World Of Christian Cinema
4) The 7th True Hollywood Story: John Carpenter
5) The Country Bears Movie
6) Action Heroes And Muscly Superstars
7) Mad Max
8) Upcoming Comic Book Movies
9) More Horror Film Blues
10) Passion Of The Christ
11) Max Magician And The Legend Of The Rings
12) The Chosen One: Legend Of The Raven
13) The Adventures Of Young Van Helsing
14) Spirited Away
15) Van Helsing
16) Paycheck
17) Grave Of The Fireflies
18) Versus
19) Castle In The Sky
20) 7th's Top 20 Gayest Films
21) The Punisher
22) My Neighbor Tortoro
23) Deceived
24) Galaxis
25) How To Make A Crappy Movie 101: Darkest Knight
26) G.I. Joe: Valor VS Venom
27) When Sci-Fi And Disney Don't Mix
28) The Dr. Seuss Deity Mystery
29) 7th's 2005 Summer Movie Roundup Part 1: Star Wars Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith
30) 7th's 2005 Summer Movie Roundup Part 2: Batman Begins
31) 7th's 2005 Summer Movie Roundup Part 3: The Passable Four
32) 7th's 2005 Summer Movie Roundup Part 4: War Of The Worlds
33) 7th's 2005 Summer Movie Roundup Part 5: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory
34) 7th's Top 100 Horror Films Part 1
35) 7th's Top 100 Horror Films Part 2
36) 7th's Top 100 Horror Films Part 3
37) 7th's Top 100 Horror Films Part 4
38) Reviewing The Disney Sequels
39) The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe
40) Actors Who Should Never Be Actors Vol. 1: Bill Goldberg

Television

1) Knight Rider: A Man And His Campy Talking Car
2) Enter... Manimal!
3) Automania!
4) Go Buck Yourself!
5) The Phoenix
6) Matthew Ain't No Ghetto Starr
7) Birds Of Gay
8) Gender-Based TV
9) Brum!
10) 7th's 2004 Christmas Extravaganza - The Wonderful World Of Rankin/Bass
11) 25 Reasons You Should Watch Red Dwarf
12) Everything I Need To Know, I Learned From Optimus Prime
13) Battlestar Galactica
14) You Can't Do That On My Website!
15) The Idiot Box

Music

1) 7th Interviews Milo Aukerman
2) The Top Ten Christian Rock Bands
3) 7th's Descendents Jukebox (MP3's No Longer Available)
4) Guilty Pleasures - Survivor

Books

1) Seven Hill City, By B. Thompson Stroud
2) The Taking, By Dean Koontz
3) 7th Becomes A Novelist
4) A Thirst For Vengeance

Invasions

1) 7th Invades Walt Disney World Part 1: The Magic Kingdom
2) 7th Invades Walt Disney World Part 2: EPCOT
3) 7th Invades Walt Disney World Part 3: Disney/MGM Studios
4) 7th Invades Walt Disney World Part 4: Animal Kingdom
5) 7th Invades Sea World Orlando
6) 7th Invades St. Augustine Part 1: The Old Spanish Fort
7) 7th Invades St. Augustine Part 2: Old St. Augustine
8) 7th Invades St. Augustine Part 3: Ripley's Believe It Or Not! Museum
9) 7th Invades St. Augustine Part 4: The Fountain Of Youth
10) 7th Invades Gatlinburg Part 1: Hauntings
11) 7th Invades Orpyland
12) 7th Invades Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween Party

Video Games

1) Watching Paint Dry
2) Drakengard (PS2)
3) Van Helsing (PS2)
4) Untold Legends: Brotherhood Of The Blade (PSP)
5) 7th's Five Worst Fighting Game Characters

Holidays

1) Post-Holiday Musings
2) Fall Musings
3) I Believe In Santa Claus
4) 7th's Top 100 Christmas Diversions Part 1
5) 7th's Top 100 Christmas Diversions Part 2
6) 7th's Top 100 Christmas Diversions Part 3
7) 7th's Top 100 Christmas Diversions Part 4

Weird Shit

1) World's Worst Superheroes Extravaganza!
2) Worlds Worst Superheroes Part Deux!
3) The Al Qaeda/Cobra Connection
4) How To Speak Southern
5) Five Points Of Jacksonville
6) Remembering My Dad
7) Obligatory Shitty Outlet Store Post!
8) 7th WCW Has-Been Super Squad Goes To College!
9) For Sale: John Kerry's Medals
10) For Sale: Blanket's Baby Jumper
11) Nascar Driver Profile: Dean Jones
12) Dr. Phil Endorses The Sony PSP!
13) Life After Disney: A Catharsis
14) W-P-F.Com - A Tribute
15) 7th On Your Side: The Wonderful World Of Web Scams
16) Remembering September 19th
17) 7th On Your Side: An Open Letter To Maverick
18) Those Are People Who Died, 2005