SWITCH
Posted by Switch on October 16, 2007
42 . . . 42 . . . 42 . . . .
Real Name: Dave Winzer
Titles: Mystery Ninja!!
Aliases: Asshole, Dave
Hometown: Medicine Hat, AB (um . . . Canada?)
Finishing Move: Nothing. I'll just let you lay there. All bleeding stops - eventually.
Coolest Ninja Turtle: Raphael
Hobbies: Local/indie music. Drinking beer. Being irresistable to
women. Picking arguments I really don't care about, just to see if I
can beat you.
When I grow up I want to be: Filthy stinking rich.
Switch was born in a box under the stairs in the corner of the
basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait
Shop . . . you know the place. Anyway, he is the only person he knows
who is both proud to be from the Prairies AND is not a redneck. In 1822
he helped Simon Bolovar liberate Peru from the evil Spaniards *hiss!
spit!*, and later went on to cure polio and invent time travel (U.S.
Patent #0000001).
He now resides in his Space Fortress with his ever-lovin'
hunney-bunnies Jessica Simpson, Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel.
They spend their days in a geosynchronous orbit, drinking cognac and
having pillowfights in their underwear.
|