7th Invades 7th
Posted by Anzie Corgan on September 24, 2005
Anzie:
Ronin and Jader weren't too enthused about dealing with the insane traffic around my dorm in the South Loop of Chicago, so we decided that I would take the Red Line north to Howard Street were I would meet up with them north of Lincoln Park. I arrived a little later than I actually planned to be, but it wasn't a problem, because little did I know Ronin and Jader were lost and arrived thirty minutes behind schedule.
[Jader: Anzie was easy to spot, as a frightened white kid in a predominantly "ethnic" part of town.]
It was odd actually meeting Ronin and Jader in person. Our relationship had existed online for so long that I didn't know what to expect from the two of them. As we began telling stories and ranting and raving down the road I realized that both of their personalities were true to their internet personas. The drive from Chicago to Green Bay is somewhere around three hours, but after taking into account several bathroom breaks and a food stop we managed to do it in four.
~~~
Ronin:
After enduring the rediculous car ride, the drinking commenced almost immediately upon arriving at the house. There was whiskey and coke for all. I poured Anzie a glass, Jader made his own, and I set about the scientific process of pouring far too much whiskey into my 52oz Shreck 2 house stein. With that, we managed to guzzle down quite a bit and prepare for a night out.
We left the house and I made the decision that Anzie should be personally familiar with the harrowig course that is the Baird's Creek Run. Those familiar with my antics with MadMax know of which I speak. And as the stench of Anzie's soiled underwear filled the car, all he had to say was 'That was insane.'
Yes. Yes it was.
Mo'fo is ALWAYS on the phone. Always.
I wasn't 100% sure about being able to get Anzie into bar on the Washington Street strip, but low and behold, it was a breeze. The first bar we arrived at was a bit of a problem:
Me: Two Budwiesers, please.
Barmaid: Sure, can I see some ID's?
Me: Yeah, sure. *turns around* ... *turns around again* Actually, can I just get one?
Barmaid: Sure, if you show me your ID.
Me: Okay hold on. *walks over to where Anzie is sitting* Let's get the hell out of here.
Anzie: Okay.
[Hindsight] I could have easily purchased a drink had I wanted to. But for some reason (most likely the booze kicking in) I decided that if everyone wasn't getting served, no one was gettig served. So we left.
From there we went on a whistle stop tour of what Green bay has to offer in the way of drinking. Let's look at the list...
- Anzie hits on a 30 year old and makes a big drunken stink about being impressed that she didn't look her age.
- I play pool decently
- I play pool horribly
- We get many many cheap beers
- I leer all over girls who's boyfriends are looking on in dismay and anger.
- Anzie and I engage in a pool game against two other guys and we just leave the bar in the middle fo the game for no reason
- We walk into the next bar and the guy to girl ratio is 30:1
- We promptly decide to leave that bar
- On the way out Anzie disappears
- I find Anzie hitting on some girl he saw on his way out, he appears to be getting a phone number?
- The Drunken Duo enters the third bar barely coherent, but having a good time
- This third bar is a martini/techno club, sparsely populated
- We recieve our drinks, take two sips, and proceed to become the drunken assholes on the dancefloor
- I realize who we are and tell Anzie it's time to leave
~~~
Anzie:
I'm fully aware that I look older then I really am. In fact back in the day when I sported a beard and sholder lenghth hair it wasn't uncommon for people to assume I was in my late twinties. So I really wasn't all that fazed when Ronin took me to Washington Street, despite the fact that I'd never used my looks to my advange before.
Partying has never really been my thing. In fact, usually at parties you'll find me sitting in the corner sipping my non-alcoholic coke while I stare at the carpet. But considering that I was with Ronin Tetsuro and Jader in Green Bay Wisconsin, over 10,000 miles from my home in Orlando Florida, I wasn't about to give up the chance to party.
Frankly, I can't tell you where we went to or how long we stayed on Washington Street. Due to the pure insanity of the situation and drunken stooper we quickly found ourselves in, many details fell through the cracks in my brain. In fact, if I was going to write a short novel about our night on Washington Street it would have to be written with as little adjectives as possible. Luckaly I'm able to keep some chronological significance about our story. So here goes nothing . . .
Anzie and Ronin's Somewhat Linear Adventure On Washington Street
Bar#1: No photo ID = No drink
Bar#2?: If I'm not mistaken this was the independent rock bar. Lots of loud music, and people looking like they just came from a tweaked out Prince video. It was here that we spent most of our time on Washington Street. Evidently, I began to hit on one of Ronin's friends who I assumed to be around 21. I was dead off, she was 30, and I spent the next five minutes or so trying to explain myself, as not to seem like a complete jackass. While I began to socialize like the fool that I am Ronin was busy playing pool in the corner.
Time past
I was still talking, oblivious to the surroundings around me. God knows what I was talking about. Perhaps school or living in Chicago, or knowing Ronin, I can't remember. Every now and then Ronin would come over and say something to me and pat me on the sholder and I'd say either one of two things, "FUCK MAN THIS IS GREAT!" or, "RONIN YOU'RE A CRAZY MOTHER FUCKER!" That was about the extent of my intelectual retorts for the night.
Somewhere in the midst of all this me and Ronin ended up playing pool against two random guys. We played average considering I'm not much of a pool shark and after a few rounds we left the game unanounced to continue are druken bar hopping down Wahington Street.
Bar#3 & 4 & 5: Is only a slideshow in my mind. We went to several other bars and drank some more. Somewhere around this time I got some girls number on coster only to realize the next morning that it was far from legible. So if your reading this and you wrote 212-6204 on a coater and gave it to a grinning idiot I need the rest of the number.
Oh yes I almost forgot, we danced! Which was something that I'd never thought I'd never do with Ronin. Evidently we went to some upscale nightclub dressed like the low class computer dorks that we are and proceaded to dance like drunken assholes for several minutes until Ronin realized what we were doing. It was a blast, but I wouldn't advise it if your sober.
~~~
Ronin:
At this point I decide it's time to return to the house before the inevitable fat chick comes along and takes the night to bad places. Apparently we stopped at a gas station on the way home? This Anzie tells me, and god only knows how we escaped the cops on that one. The drive home isn't a fuzzy memory, it doesn't exist.
[ED NOTE: Good thing it doesn't. I was on the street in front of the house and could hear the conversation taking place in the living room. Something about Anzie asking Ronin if he had ever kissed a man before. I was also hugged repeatedly by a drunk and stumbling Anzie. Which isn't much fun when you are sober.]
Staff Member Q & A
Anzie-
What is it like to be the only black man in Wisconsin?
Ronin-
*laughter, shows me his race card* You know for the first few years before I knew I was black it was fine, but after I started to get all the questions about being black it was strange because I didn't know what it was to be black, I wasn't raised that way. So I didn't know what to tell these kids.
Jader-
Ronin was born with his forty acres and a mule.
~~~
Anzie-
How do you go about writing an article?
Ronin-
Basically I sit down with an idea and start typing away and from there it just works itself out.
Jader-
This coming from the guy who doesn't add a comma.
~~~
Anzie-
What is it like having Canadians coming and saying your beer sucks?
Jader-
Considering I drink Canadian beer it has little effect on me because I think American beer sucks.
Ronin-
You know honestly I don't care because as long as I have beer and I'm drunk, I don't care, let's just all have fun.
~~~
Anzie-
Describe your wiskey face?
Jader-
I don't have a wiskey face. I look the same 24 hours a day.
Ronin-
I don't have a wiskey face, what is this whiskey face stuff?
~~~
Anzie-
What did you think when you first met me?
Ronin-
He's white. *Extended laughing* More like where is all the hair?
Jader-
He's not anywhere near as sexy as he is in the pictures.
~~~
Ronin-
What do you think about northern living so far?
Anzie-
I like it. I get tired of people calling "soda" "pop." I think it’s very nice and very down home, It’s hard to describe northern living for a southern standpoint. Everyone is just fucking alien. I know that makes no fucking sense.
Ronin-
No, you said it. So it means something.
Anzie-
See I shouldn't have had alcohol when we were doing this. Are you adding that?
Ronin-
*nods*
Anzie-
*laughs*
~~~
Ronin-
What kind of adjustments have you had to make?
Anzie-
I’m gonna have to go shopping for winter clothes. All I have is tee shirts and vans. I’m gonna have to get coats and stuff. I’ve had to get more familiar with city life, like making sure I don’t get mugged and using subways. The women are hotter, just because they're are more of them.
~~~
Ronin-
What’s it like meeting someone from the internet for the first time?
Anzie-
It’s weird. You get this picture in your mind of someone acting or looking a certain way. The truth is you don’t know someone from the internet. It’s a lesson in character. You really can judge someone from the way they are online. I guess you can't judge some one from that because you seemed really nice, but turns out you’re an asshole, dude.
Ronin-
Motherfucker.
~~~
Ronin-
What did you expect it to be like meeting Jader and I for the first time?
Anzie-
Let’s see here… Um, it’s fucking insane. I couldn’t believe that I’m actually meeting you both. For the longest time, I never thought I’d be able to meet you guys. And now that I am meeting you, All I’m thinking is, why is their house such a mess? Who are these assholes? And who shaved the cat in the bathtub? Also, it’s really nice meeting you by the way.
~~~
Ronin-
What are your plans from here?
Anzie-
I’m just gonna go to class, study hard and try not to stay up too late, you know. I’m in a big city… small town boy. Keep my priorities straight, keep writing. See if I can quit my social smoking habit... the cig prices in Chicago are ridiculous. That’s about it.
ANZIE ON!
Anzie on: Florida living - You have to treat tourists like animals. Seriously, you do. These people don’t know what they’re doing, so you have to figure out the art of driving around tourists. They’re not looking at what they’re doing. You can easily get hit. They’re animals, pretty much.
Anzie on: His trade - Being a writer, I can’t help my spelling. Like go back 5 years and I couldn’t read. *laughs*
Anzie on: 7th Level - Keep in mind I wrote The History of Spring Break in five minutes. And we were having a really slow time, so I was like you know what Chuck (AtypicalChuck, also a writer for 7th Level), I’m going to sell this article. So I went to site after site and SOLD that article. I went to AllDumb, TotalFark, and it’s still generating hits this month. It’s crazy.
Anzie:
I woke up hungover, go figure. I imeadiatly did the drunk onceover. No pool of vomit, check. No fat chick, check. No urination of anykind, check. Evidently I had passed out on the couch with no recolection of exactly what went down the night before.
Mission Accomplished
I stumbled light headedly into the kitchen where I found Ronin on his computer fucking around as I had expected. Evidently he had awken from his drunken sleep 30 minutes earlier and had already proceaded to take picture after picture of me passed out on the couch. We set up our computers and began to reminice about our drunken stupidity the night before.
Somewhere along the way, young Elton John was in our kitchen. With a Mars Volta shirt on. WTF
Evidently upon returning home the night before, Ronin and I had put on a movie, maxed the volume, and then proceded to carry on a drunken conversation over the racket. We were also informed by Jader that we were so loud he could here us all the way out by the street where he was on the phone talking to his girl friend. Jader also let me know that not only had I given him a few to many drunken hugs but I had also emtied out his pack ciggarettes. Everytime Jader would walk past the house I would yell out the window for anouther smoke. So evidently I yelled, "Jader can I have a ciggarette," about once every three minutes. Thus creating a inside joke for us that will never die.
~~~
Ronin:
As some of you know, when you have a wild bender the night before, you don't really sleep it all off. So I woke up on my own at about 8:30 the next morning and Anzie was up not too long after. We set up our laptops on the kitchen table and against the backdrop of our unfinished 'French bistro' mural on our wall, we had a blast just hanging out and being hungover.
What you are about to read is real. This is DRUNKEN MORNING TALK!
Ronin- (reading the forums) - Wait I thought Poe was your sister?
Anzie- What? No, dude…
Ronin- She isn’t your sister?
Anzie- Dude, Poe is a guy.
Ronin- … what? No she’s not
Anzie- *points to the avatar* Dude, that’s a guy.
Ronin- WHAT? …the fuck…
Anzie- Seriously.
~~~
Jader- So what the hell were you doing with a garbage can last night anyway?
Anzie- Who, me?
Jader- *laughing* Yes, you!
Anzie- What the hell are you talking about.
Jader- Dude, last night you were walking around the house with a garbage can for no reason.
Anzie- No I wasn't!
Jader- *grabs garbage can from in front of the couch* What's this then?
Anzie- OMG
Ronin-We were sooooo fucked up, son!
~~~
Anzie- *on the phone* So what's going on?
Female Caller- Jessica is coming over later...
Anzie & Ronin- Woooohooo!
Anzie- ...
Ronin- We've already spent too much time together.
~~~
In Conclusion:
Anzie: We continued to talk for hours before Ronin finally had to take me back to the train station. We talked about everything from internet drama, to political injustice and much more. And as I sat talking with my friends who I'd known forever but never met, I realized how restricting the internet is. We think that we've got a grasp of what someone is really like just by reading what they write on a website or internet forum, but the truth is we don't have the slightest idea of their true personality. Sure I have my grudges and people I'd rather not meet , but the truth is I don't even know them. For the longest time I've been wrapped up in disliking certain individuals on the internet, only to realize now that what I dislike is just a biproduct of them (an avatar, written words etc.). So all in all, I think I've learned not to judge those who seem to stand for what I am against.
It's also hard to make sense of your actions when you're with good friends. Did we act responsibly? Probably not. Did we keep our health and the well being of others in mind? Definitly not. Did we write a linear account of everthing that happend to us? Not really, but at least we had a hell of a time. Gay jokes and internet humor aside, Ronin and Jader are by far some of the coolest peole to work with. As I assured them before I left, this would be one of many get togethers in the near future.
~~~
Ronin:
It's hard to say that you know someone just by talking to them. You miss out on the mannerisms and what not that comes with a personal conversation. Like for instance, when someone is telling you a story, you can tell that they mean the things they say in person, whereas on the internet it's easy for you to accept the possibility that they are just lying or being a general douche. I had a great time getting to know Anzie as a human being and not just as text.
As far as us doing all the things we did (driving drunk, driving fast, underage drinking, public intoxication, public exposure, dancefloor assholery, frivously hitting on chicks, distrubing the peace) I can't say those were good things to do, but I'm a lawless motherfucker, and that kind of shit is bound to happen when I'm involved. Jader and I, we like to show our people a good time, and we (me) sometimes go to inordinate lengths to ensure that happens. Anzie had a good time, and other than that mime and stray cat, no one died.
Good times at the Warroom.
ICY DRUNK STUNTAZ!
fin.
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