Scientology
Posted by Caitlin on February 03, 2006

Nevermind, that's TOTALLY not what this article is about.
It's also not about what Jesus would or wouldn't do to Tom Cruise.






It isn't about irony.





This article has nothing to do with how Keanu Reeve's career parallels Christopher Reeve's health.







In this article, nobody gets off their high horse.






Nobody plays "Magic The Gathering".






And I don't wonder if Aslan would be a pussy if he was French.






In this article, nobody thinks about dropping dolphins out of airplanes and the effect this would have on their sonar, nor what the PETA protestors would wear at the landing site.






And I definitely am not going to divulge the secret that I don't like to fart inside of my pants, but instead pull them down and scoot around until the gas dissipates, because who really wants the ass of their pants to smell like methane? DEFINITELY NOT in this article.






This is not an article about whether or not Robin Williams feels bad about "Patch Adams".






Nor about how dogs get busy.





THIS article is not about anything, actually, which is precisely what this article is about!