Nick Nunziata and Devin Feraci are morons.

So the Pevensie kids are back for more kid friendly swordplay. Does it have a voice of its own, or is it more LOTR Lite? Read on to find out.

GO Speed Racer, GO (Direct-To-The Bargain Bin)!

Okay friends and assholes, here's my thoughts on each and every horror movie I've seen over the last 365 days. Enjoy!

Once more, a DIY movie maker tries his luck. Will he fair better than past victims? Click the jump to find out.

Let's face it, I'm way behind at this point, so I think I'll just sum up here so I can get to work on halloween before it passes me by.

Okay, it's official. Hell has frozen over.

The new is old, and is new, but is old... my head hurts.

The Third Film Curse Strikes Again...

Well... Better late than never... Right?

A lesson to be learned, dear readers. If you're an independent movie producer, you might better make sure your film is actually GOOD before asking 7th to review it.

Yes that's right friends. I've already showed you 100 horror flicks I really like. Here's 20 I can live without.

Yes friends, after a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long hiatus, we have returned to fill your online lives with non-sequitors and pointless drivel.

Sometimes it's fun to just sit back, relax, and watch someone else's dreams come true. And then there's those other times, when you can't help but stick your nose in their business. This is a little of both. That's right, I'm temporarily coming off my hiatus to worm my way into someone else's gig.

Christ almighty, I thought the Rock was heading down the Hollywood Hogan path, but DAMN, here comes Bill with a Christmas horror movie.

One of the longest titles possible, and the fifth highest grossing movie of 2005. So is it worth seeing, or is it barely disguised Christian propaganda? Delve deeper and find out.

This one's been a long time coming folks. Since none of these films have enough cinematic meat to them to constitute individual reviews, I'm going to be knocking them out all in one blow.

Tim Burton's latest is yet another remake under the quirky director's belt. Is it a fresh new look on an old classic, or another Planet Of The Apes in waiting?

First I trashed his religion, now I'm going to trash his movie. Things have not boded well for the house of Cruise here in 7thLand.

No matter how hard I think about it in regards to coming up with one word that best represents my feelings on this film, I keep coming back to "Enh."

Need a good modern horror film this Halloween? Try Blood Moon, a tale of freaks and the people who terrorize them. Also, Tim Curry.

Here it is folks: the top 25, the ones most of you have been waiting for whilst skipping the other seventy-five! Revealed they are at last! Enter now and be informed!

You've waited an entire 24+ hours, so it's time to dish out another 25 frightfests. Grab your orange popcorn and turn out the living room lights, this one's gonna be a spooker!

Back for more already, eh? Alright then. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Yep friends, I'm counting down my 100 favorite horror films. Here's the first 25.

Newcomer Sugar Ray attempts to make his mark on 7th with a "what if" piece on a live action Final Fantasy VII movie. Let's hope he has better ideas than the folks behind Advent Children.

So a new, relatively unknown actor has donned the cape and cowl, and a new director gets to express his vision of Gotham. Was it good? Or was it Batman and Robin all over again? Read on to find out.

I got to see a few movies this summer, and decided to cover them all in a multi-part series starting with the first summer flick I took the time to go see: Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

At long last, 7th has viewed The Cat In The Hat, and is ready to share his thoughts... such as they are.

Anzie interviews cult b-movie actor Vince Santo, who played the part of Billy in 2000 Maniacs.

Disney has Hitchhiker's Guide coming out this summer. Many fear that it will suck, me included. Let's look back at the Mouse's track record with sci-fi films and see how they have fared.

Musicals are, on the whole, rubbish. And frilly. Say hello to five musicals that keep the rubbish and the frilliness down to a bare minimum - IN MOVIE FORM!

There's no racism in this one. Wouldn't want to offend any poor widdle souls who don't understand irony.

Time to sell toys... YO JOE! Time to sell toys... YO JOE! Time to indoctrinate young males to the military prolitariate... YO JOE!

Here ya go, kiddies. A Step-by-step view into the world of direct-to-video movie magic. Learn it well, for one of you out there may one day bring us the next Max Magician!

A c-level sci-fi movie starring Richard Moll and Brigitte Nielsen's bombalas... Yeah, cheese that ripe's gotta be bad for ya...

Hang on to your hats, faithful readers. We've got ourselves a brand spankin' new example of Holier-than-thou propaganda poorly disguised as entertainment. Now with 100% more Judd Nelson!

A Studio Ghibli film before they were officially Studio Ghibli... A fun, innocent romp through the eyes of a girl, her little sister... and something a little different.

You know what's punishing? Sitting through what in reality is a decent action film disguised as a Punisher movie with an action star that was last seen chasing after Cameron Diaz in The Sweetest Thing... that's punishment for ya...

Back in the 70's, we had what came to be known as blaxploitation films, movies done on the cheap to pull in black movie goers. Now it's the 21st century, and we have a new subgenre that disguised as (usually) witty comedies abou those hilariously hip and mischevious homosexuals. Yes, friends, its Gaysploitation time.

Studio Ghibli presents what is possibly the most action filled title in its library, short of Princess Mononoke. But does it pass muster on the 7th Scale? Read on to find out...

Well well now, what have I stumbled upon? A Japanese actioner with lots of swordplay, demons, and gun-toting kung-fu fighting zombies? Sign me up Padre!

One of the more thought provoking films from Studio Ghibli... A cautionary tale that is as disturbing and likewise moving as any World War II film ever made, whether it be Saving Private Ryan or Schindler's List...

Based on a Philip K. Dick short story and directed by John Woo, and yet still highly unwatchable. The title is quite appropriate, though, as they should be paying me for having sat through it.

Some loved it, some hated it. I found it to be a MOSTLY harmless piece of fluff, short of a couple of glaring problems. Suffice it to say, there's a lot of suck to this movie, and it ain't all about the blood, baby.

Okay anime fans, today I'm going to delve into studio Ghibli's latest offering. Be forewarned, there's no laser battles, prolonged fistfights in mid-air, or annoying teenage demi-gods who yell "KEEEENEEEEDAAAA!!!!"

Well, I see that Max Magician's director found a slightly bigger budget this time. I only wish that he could've found some talent to go along with it, both for himself, and for his supposed "acting talent." I tried to trade this one in at Blockbuster and they paid me to keep it.

One thing this movie taught me is that a nice set of boobs isn't always enough to redeem a truly shitty film. Carmen Electra has a nice rack, but she can't act any better than Vince McMahon can run a football league...

You know what? I think, at long last, I may have just discovered the undisputed worst film ever made. No lie, this is the epitomy of shit-on-celluloid. Ed Wood would turn his nose up at this film. It sucks so bad, it's not even "bad in a good way" bad. You may want to skip over this one, less you suffer emotional scarring.

I know I know, Christian cinema... hahahSHUT UP!

There's nothing I hate more than getting all psyched up for a good horror movie, and finding a big pile of crap instead... again...

This one's almost a year old, but only one of the movies mentioned has actually hit the screen... with a resounding thud... or should I say, DUD.

The inspiration for such big budget films as Waterworld and independent hits such as Six String Samurai, Max is one of a kind... a high octane suicide machine... See for yourself...

Here I take a look at some of the best action stars out there... and Vin Diesel...

They're bears... from the country... and they play music... Yeah, I didn't get it either...

Face it folks... the SIGNS are upon us....

Grab the Holy Popcorn folks, it's time for some of that old time religion...

I'll be BACK!... Too bad the audience wasn't...

There's nothing more horrific than a horrific Hollywood Horror Cash-in...