 (The 7th Level) | Cinderella
(1950)
Animal
Outfit: Blue gown / Glass slippers Tagline: "I've never been kissed." Plot summary: Cinderella spent most of her life in misery as an indentured servant to her Evil Stepmother and wicked step-sisters. Her only friends were the mice who lived in the attic, who all sounded like Alvin and the Chipmunks and lived in fear of the Evil Stepmother's equally evil cat Lucifer. Then one day, Cinderella's fairy godmother appeared, and vowed to make all her wishes come true. For you see, the Fairy Godmother knew that all Cinderella needed to nab the most eligible bachelor in town, the Prince, was to be as aesthetically pleasing as possible. And so Fairy Godmother entered her as a contestant on a reality show and three months later, she became the Swan Princess... whoops, wrong movie! (more) User Comments: All kidding aside, Cinderella was the first extreme makeover in history. She went from paltry, dirty old maid's rags to a blue enchanted ball gown and glass slippers. Now she spends her days walking around in 105 degree heat being felt up by horny house husbands while their wives capture it on film. And yet thanks to her, the myth persists that all a woman needs to be happy is to completely change everything about her so that she can win the heart of the perfect man, then spend the rest of her life trying to change everything about him out of revenge. I guarantee you, if we were allowed to see The Prince as he is today, he'd be dressed in pleated khaki slacks and a plaid sweater from the Gap, drinking light faux beer and watching re-runs of Thirtysomething on Lifetime instead of Monday Night Football on the local swill hall's big screen. User Rating:
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Cartoon
