![]() (The 7th Level) | Jack
Skellington (1993)
Animal
Outfit: Black Pinstriped Tuxedo / Batman's Bowtie Tagline: "What's THIS?!" Plot summary: Jack is the lord of Halloween. He has been for years. Every year he plans every meticulous detail, and every year, he tops himself. But that's the folly of being the best. Eventually, it gets not only lonely at the top, but boring. Jack happens across Christmas Town, and learns of the evil Sandy Claws. He plots to take Sandy's place and become the king of Christmas, only to discover that he's made a grievous error. He's not Sandy Claws. He's not even the Pumpkin King. He's the lead singer of Oingo Boingo. (more) User Comments: Jack's outfit is an anorexic's dream. His suit has less fabric to it than a Barbie doll's wardrobe. Jack's so skinny, he could turn sideways and disappear. He's so damned thin, he could hide behind a telephone pole without breaking the laws of physics like those other cartoon characters. He calls himself the Pumpkin King. But does he wear a crown? No. Is his head a pumpkin? Shit no. No, Jack Skellington is not only an anorexic, he's a charlatan. Those "in the know" in Hollywood know that Skellington's association with Disney allowed him access to their archival films, where he found all the inspiration he needed to craft his future career! BEHOLD THE TRUTH!
Tim Burton, you owe Jack Pumpkinhead an apology. But even forgiving that, Jack doesn't really seem to fit the bill of what a king of Halloween should be. And he's certainly not a pumpkin. He's a skinny dead guy in a suit who sings. Hollywood's full of them, and has been for years. Think about it. Jack's just Bing Crosby with less skin. L.A.'s teeming with guys like Jack. A couple of them were even American Idol finalists. The rest of them are down on MLK smoking poles for crack money. Meanwhile, the kids of America know what the real deal is, and they know where to go to see the REAL Pumpkin King.
"THERE HE IS! THERE HE IS!"
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