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Cartoon
The Haunted Mansion (2003)  

Animal
"Family Friendly" Eddie Murphy 

Outfit: Business Suit / Shriveled Balls of A Formerly Gifted Comedian

Tagline: "YES! FUCK YOU TOO!"

Plot summary:  

 Dr. Doolittle Jim Evers loves his family. No really, he does. But he allows his career as a veterinarian real estate agent get in the way of his time with the wife and kids. Then, one fateful day, he discovers that he can talk to animals ghosts, and they have a problem that only he can solve. As Dr. Doolittle Jim rises above his self-induced shortcomings, he realizes the folly of becoming too obsessed with success, and by doing so wins the respect and love of his family, and becomes a hero to the animals ghosts.

In other words, yet another completely original film from the minds of Disney! (more)

User Comments:  

Jim spends the whole film walking around in a business suit, and looking about as much like Eddie Murphy as Bill Gates in blackface. All kidding aside, I hate what Eddie has allowed to happen to his career. Sure, this and other recent films are all family-safe fare you can take your kids to. Sure, I ADORE the Haunted Mansion. It's just about my favorite Disney World ride of all time. I could go on for pages and pages about its history, how the effects work, and on and on and on. But Coming To America this ain't folks. Hell, I daresay that Vampire In Brooklyn had more of the original Eddie in it than this did. There is not one ounce of Eddie Murphy in this film. The REAL Eddie. You could put the guy who played the Dad in the Stuart Little movies in his place, and it would be the exact same fucking film (interracial family jokes aside.) Aside from the effects and the little winks at the ride, this film is shit. 

What, you don't believe me? You think it's a good entry as a first "horror" movie for the little ones? You think it preserves the spirit of the ride? You think Meg Tilly made a good Madame Leota? Well, allow me to respond in kind...

FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOU! Who's next?

    User Rating: 3/10 (999 happy votes... but there's room for a thousand! Any volunteers?!)