![]() (The 7th Level) | Prince
Eric (1989)
Animal
Outfit: Deep blue eyes / Perfect white teeth / Perfect Hair / Sailor boots / Frocked shirt Tagline: "Hey guys. What's going on in this movie?" Plot summary: Prince Eric is away at sea, when his ship goes down during a storm. He is rescued and brought to shore by Ariel, a mermaid and daughter of King Triton. He awakens on the beach to the sound of her singing, and falls instantly in love with her, as is wont to happen in a 90 minute film. Ariel also falls in love, and goes to the evil sea witch Ursula for help. Ursula transforms her into a human, at the cost of her voice, the only thing by which Eric could recognize her. much like every man, all red headed women with perfect figures look the same to him. Ariel is then told she must make Eric fall for her, and marry her, or her voice is Ursula's forever, along with her poor unfortunate SOUUUUUUL. Despite being a deaf mute, Ariel still manages to work her way into Eric's castle. But her plans are dashed when Ursula appears in human form, lip synching to Ariel's voice. Eric mistakes her for the woman who rescued him, because all Princes are stupid and think with their penis. They're about to be married on the deck of Eric's ship by a horny Catholic priest when Ariel's friends come to the rescue. Ursula is exposed, and manages to steal Triton's spear, giving her all the powers of the sea. She morphs into a gigantic writhing creature of supreme evil, but is vanquished when Eric runs to the Calico's control room and presses the BIG RED BUTTON. Godzilla appears, destroys Ursula, pets Godzooky on the head, then returns to the depths, but not before leaving the newlyweds a George Forman Grill at the reception. (more) User Comments: With the exception of his wedding, Eric seems to conform to the Popeye school of fashion, sticking with striped navy pants, sea boots, and a sailor's skim shirt. This allows him to keep the upper part of his bulging pectorals in plain view of any horny mermaids who happen to swim by, while still allowing him to have that "Paper Towel Hunk" appeal. I have to take umbrage with his choice in women, however. Come on. A mermaid? For God's sake man, weren't you ever worried that some of your kids may turn out looking like the bastard fish-son of Eric Estrada? When you go down on her, does it taste like caviar? You have to give the man props for that if nothing else. All the douche in the world won't kill the carp smell in that girl's groovy grotto. User Rating:
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